Best Buys

We've found that living abroad entails a few deprivations--mostly minor reminders of America. There remain a few items that make our lives so much easier and more comfortable that we're frequently reminded of how grateful we are to have made these best buys.

1. VPN (virtual private network). How did we live abroad for over 2 years before we finally purchased one! It allows us to mask our location and change it virtually to the U.S. (or a bunch of other places). It allows us to view webpages (barnesandnoble.com) and services (Netflix) that are not available to people with a non-US ISP. Thus, we've been able to watch non-Bollywood movies and the Olympics (thanks CBC and BBC, but not NBC).

2. Couch covers. In a world where EVERYONE has the identical furniture including couches, ours can at least appear to the different than others.

3. Espresso Machine. Have a favorite corner coffee shop that serves espresso, lattes, and mochas?  We don't. Even if we did, we'd still be grateful to have an espresso machine to save us from a treacherous drive for some coffee.

4. UPS (uninterruptible power supply). A battery back-up to keep power on the TV, DVD player, and computer during the frequent power fluctuations/outages saves us the agony of losing work on the computer or having to re-start the movie multiple times.

5. Pam. Yes, it's that useful. You try going without cooking spray and see how your baked goods turn out.

How a Housekeeper Helps a Marriage

Everyone knows it takes work to have a good marriage, although it isn't always enough. If you want to put your marriage through a potentially life-long series of high pressure life changing situations with no end in sight and see how it comes out, the foreign service is a good option. There's nothing that says "uh, do I love you?" like dragging a spouse plus or minus kids (aka EFMs, eligible family members) off to a foreign developing country where there isn't even the retail therapy afforded by Target or Williams Sonoma, and leaving him/her to figure out what to do with themselves while the person who counts (the Direct Hire) gets on with their career. I actually have started another post on the brutally honest aspects of this, but I'm going to leave it... it's a soft underbelly that all of us out here have but - at least us USG types - don't really talk about.

Let me instead expand upon one of the clear marriage advantages of settling into a developing country. And that is, The Housekeeper.

Working moms the world over have the same problem. Feminism be d----ed, you know that when it gets down to it, even when your man is useful in the kitchen or occasionally helpful with other things, he never does enough. I will not go into detail, as my dear hubby is one of my few faithful readers and I would hate to run him off, but working wife/mother people out there can probably hear what I'm saying from my soapbox without me having to put it in black and white.

BUT, friends, with the miracle Housekeeper installed, like magic, all you have to work out between you is dinner and kids (and you don't have to do those, either, if you get a cook and a nanny, it's a personal preference thing though, we like cooking and we often like our kid). Suddenly, your lot in domestic life might seem like a fair trade off for his normal level of effort.

Not only this, but your sense of unity increases. Now, in the same tradition used by great military leaders over the centuries, you have a common enemy. When items in your sparkling clean kitchen are put away in the wrong place, or you can't find your shoes, or the light is left on in the hallway... It is always the Housekeeper's fault! You mutter to each other and address issues with her to no avail, but at least you are not turning your pet-peeve venom on your spouse.

This, dear USAID and missionary types, is the distinct advantage we have over those swanky, dry-martini-drinking, coat-and-tie-wearing, "our next post is Rome"-spewing  State Department rats colleagues.

Have fun with your fine local wine, high quality cheese and delightfully edible meat. But when you are done eating, you guys have to bicker over who is doing the dishes.

Tales from the Person who Counts: Lukenya

Editor's note: Below is a contribution from my other half, the "direct hire," the one with a name and not just a designation of "eligible family member" on important documents. (Note within the note, This does not mean they actually care about him. Ref the movie Julia and Julia...if you are FSO and you've seen it, you understand.)

One of the outlets for my increased leisure time has been rock climbing while wife and daughter play at home.  Yes, rock climbing in Kenya, who knew!  I've been a couple of places with co-workers, namely Hells Gate and Lukenya.  I'm not an expert by any means and I'm still amused by some of the unique scenery and hazards in Kenya. Driving up to the rocks, we have seen a small herd of giraffes. Baboons are fond of fouling the same rocky places that are great for climbing.  Eeew.  While on approach looking for the route, it's best to keep an eye of these and other critters.  I swear after a climb on the walk back down I saw the rock cave where Simba was born.