Fantasy Day

I wake up and stumble downstairs in jammies, because there's no one installed in the kitchen at an indecently early hour doing dishes and mopping.

I leave my home without having to go through a series of gates and wave to a dozen guards on the way out. Nor are there guards at the entrance to my daughter's school where I drop her off, who ask questions about her behavior or demeanor that in my own culture are none of their business.

The street is wide and smooth, with no inexplicable speed bumps or outrageously poorly maintained asphalt, and no one attempts to make 3 or 4 lanes out of what is painted as 2 lanes.

Children are walking to school in shoes, on sidewalks, and I don't have to swerve into oncoming traffic to go around men struggling to push an overloaded cart up the hill.

There's a the drive-through at Starbuck's, and the cashier is curt but polite, and doesn't ask what else is in my wallet when I hand her some bills that require change.

There are traffic lights, stop signs, and signs indicating street names. I do not see anyone driving the wrong way in my lane even once, and buses and trucks are able to maintain a speed greater than 15km an hour.

At the grocery store, I find a parking space that is not on the sidewalk. I do not have to be searched to enter the store; nor is there a soldier sitting outside the store with a rifle. At the butcher, when there is a busted sewer drainage pipe and they have to dig under the floor to repair it, they actually close the shop, rather than continuing to do business with an open sewer pipe in the store.

After school/work conversation with the neighbors does not revolve around the recommended frequency of deworming or best places to use for importing heavy duty shocks and struts.

For dinner I pull out some frozen risotto, salad-in-a-bag, baby carrots, and hummus, and steak that is so fresh I can't even smell the "eau de butcher".

We enjoy a peaceful dinner uninterrupted by people asking us to test our house alarm or distrubingly loud crashing or popping noises from the road across the way.

Later, we sit down and flip through way-more-than-8-including-sports-and-news channels. Nothing is on, so we settle on my default: House Hunters International. Thing is, that show always makes me wish I could live someplace that's more interesting.

Overheard at the UN

While my husband and I were having lunch at a lovely table outdoors at the UNON food court today a gentleman and lady walked by at a business-like clip carrying their food trays. We heard a snatch of their conversation as the click of their heels on the sidewalk approached and then faded.

Him: Are you settling in OK?

Her: Yes thanks.

Him: Do you miss Lebanon?

Her: God, no.

Dastardly recipes

You cunning little list

of ingredients and measures

Making it sound so simple

with pictures of untold pleasures

Foodnetwork magazine

and many websites that I've seen

Exclaim the ease and taste

and the way to make in haste

World's Best Burger

Homemade Apple Whoopie Pie

Easy veggie dishes

30 minute lie

I cannot find phyllo dough

or rump roast to cook slow

I have no Polish kielbasa

or seasoning to make masa

Frozen veggies as a backup

are something that I lack of

And now I hunger even more

for food not in my local store